Sunday, March 25, 2012

Straight from the heart, mind, soul

Be prepared for some discombobulated thoughts.

Discombobulated is actually a word. The only way I know that is because the little red squiggly line isn't under it. Phonetic spelling for the win?

I kind of want to put my feathers from last summer back into my hair when I go to Italy. I miss them in some odd way.

Is it possible to wash a loofah? Honestly. If you use it in the shower does it need washed? #PhilosoraptorMomentOfTheDay

Back when I had a Twitter account, I had to capitalize the first letter of each word because I'd get OCD about not being able to read words without spaces in between them.

I'm not sure how to feel about this exam tomorrow. I know things going through my flashcards but before exams I sometimes get worried about not being worried about it. If that makes sense.

I went to the soup kitchen today. Second time to ever go there. It's such an experience knowing that you're actually helping people who need it.

Where do you go when you feel like you've reached a brick wall? If you really want something, and if you really want to climb over that brick wall, even when you got signs against it, is it still achievable if you really wanted it?

How can you even achieve something when you feel defeated? Humility check, anyone?

I should really be studying for this exam...

Isn't it funny how life changes when you go through it? And you reach a certain point when you figure out what you want.

I suppose I'm still about halfway to that point.

Sometimes I wonder if I use the word "I" too much. How are you today?

55 days until I leave the country.

Life is seriously moving too fast. I don't like thinking that I'll be a junior in college soon. Even though I like thinking about next year, moving into my own apartment, turning 21, etc.

I get such high hopes for the future sometimes. Even though within the last few weeks I've come to learn a little more about myself. Fears and whatnot.

I've also learned that my heart skips a beat when I see a nice smile. And every time I think about it, "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift comes to mind. You know that one line that says "You've got a smile that could light up this whole town..."

I understand that sounded cryptic. Oh well.

October Baby has a really awesome soundtrack. I'm listening to it now.

I kind of miss playing soccer back in the day. I miss band too. Like mad. Sometimes I wish the HS soccer coach didn't ruin my love of the sport. Maybe I would have still played it in high school...

I'm craving chocolate chip pancakes.

...this is why you don't want to know what's on my mind. I really had to stop myself. :p

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Hello, spring... I mean, summer.

I'm sitting here in my room sweating like a dog because there is no air circulation and/or AC in Lothrop. Such is one of the reasons why I cannot wait to live in the Camelot.

I can't even begin to tell you how pretty awesome my life is at the moment. I would say there is nothing that could go wrong, but alas, that would be a lie.

At this point though, I feel like the good balances out the bad. And that's all that matters right?

I just need to learn to kick back and let things happen. It was always a problem of mine, because I can be pretty darn impatient when it comes to myself (ironically, I like to think I'm patient with everyone else. Just myself.) Recently there was a situation and I would talk about it and say "I just don't know what to do about it." and my friends would say "Do nothing."

Let me tell you: that is easier said than done.

Not that I can really DO anything. It's one of those situations where you just kind of have to sit and regretfully take things in stride. Which is a complete pain in the butt.

For me, anyways.

In much lighter news, it's less than 60 days until I leave for Italy. And I feel like those less than 60 days will come creeping up much sooner than I expect. But, at least it will be a happy surprise.

This weather has been awesome. Being able to sit out in the sun for two hours with my friends to walking to Squirrel Hill and back last night to get ice cream at Cold Stone. And now today. Dinner with the Pitt in Italy kids and then what Yaleh calls "Prom" (just because we're dressing up in formalwear). And if the weather holds up, maybe going to a game at the Pete with Laura. That's a pretty big maybe, though. Stupid rain destroying my plans.......

In other words, life is pretty much awesome. Sure there's some stuff that isn't so awesome, but if there was absolutely nothing wrong in your life, then I feel like that's sort of a problem.

That makes me sound like I'm such a downer. I think it's the rain.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

I need to say something.

You know what ticks me off more than anything?

People who lead other people on.

I'm not singling out guys, even though I obviously have only had experience with men doing that... BUT. I know girls who have done so too. And you know what?

It sucks being on the short end of that stick.

It sucks a lot, actually. And usually, unless you've actually gone through it, you don't know how much it absolutely stinks.

Sure a compliment is nice once in a while. But you know. If you start calling someone "adorable" or "cute" or "hun" all the time, don't you think that's sending the wrong message?

I dunno, call me crazy, but as for us girls, we get thrown for a loop about EVERYTHING. Because we as women tend to think about stuff way more than it should be thought about. And, granted, that's not a good thing to begin with. But when there is no thought process behind what you're saying, I don't want to hear it.
I know we don't use 100% of our brains, but could you please use the part that we do use and think a little?

I'm not saying we don't make mistakes. We do. Things happen and you don't know that things will be perceived a certain way. It happens to all of us. But if you like someone, let them know. Don't play games with other people, because it hurts them. A lot.

I REALLY needed to get that out.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Life and other such things.

Tonight I began reading one of my favorite chapter books from middle school that I found while searching for books for work at Carnegie Library. It was so refreshing reading something for fun and not having to analyze it.

Even when I was at home I was too caught up in everything else to just sit down and read. And, for those of you with me over the summer, know that the one time I actually tried doing so, I sat out a little too long and got caught up a little too much into the book and ended up with a nasty sunburn.

Reading on my own bed under a lightbulb is much healthier... and comfier.

I bought my plane ticket the other day for Italy. As many of you already know, I'm certain. I find it so hard to believe that I'll be going in two and a half short months. Around 78 or 79 days, according to the ticker on the website I bought the ticket from. As if I needed to know how many days it would be.

Just as I was contemplating the idea of happiness a few days ago (thanks to creeping on this guy's blog from a few years ago... as I explained in the last post), here I am doing the same. As much as I would like to be home with my family and soak up the time I have before I leave, I kinda needed this time to myself for some good R&R.

Man, I sound like I'm leaving forever. I'm most definitely not. Sorry if that's disappointing for some of you.

At the beginning of the year, I started reading a meditation-type book called "God is in the Little Things, and it All Matters." I haven't picked it up in quite some time, because well, I just haven't had the time to. But I guess in the hustle and bustle of midterms I didn't really think about it. I was too caught up in trying to find time to do everything I needed to do (and most I probably didn't get to). Even though, thinking about it, that may have been my main problem.

Well, my main problem was not having enough hours in one day to accomplish everything, so I guess it's a close second?

Long story short: this break is needed. Even if I'll be doing a little bit of work over break, it will be a good time to kick back, catch up on Heroes (and of course, this reading), and not have to think about exams or studying or work for a while. I doubt I can get that genuine sense of happiness that I talked about in my last post (seriously, go read it.) but you know, it's something to achieve.

Happiness is in the little things. Like waking up to the sun breaking through the clouds.

It's one of the most beautiful images to me. It's like God playing hide-and-seek with you or something. It's a terrible metaphor, I know. But I just can't describe it. Out of probably any part of nature, it's the one thing I will never tire of seeing.

Probably untrue, since I'll be looking down on the Atlantic ocean in a few weeks. But you know what I mean.

Honestly this post has no point. I wanted to take a break from my book (which I started a couple of hours ago and I'm already halfway through...) and felt like saying hi.

Embrace the little things in life. It's so worth it.