Change

So, here I am. I should be sleeping, because I have to get up early tomorrow to go back to Pittsburgh. And yet...

Recently I was told that I had changed in a bad way. The person was sort of raising themselves up and saying they had changed for the better and I the worse. Though I know I shouldn't take it to heart, because I finished trying to deal with this person a long time ago, it still got to me.

Don't we all change through time? We're sort of molded by time and the people and events that influence us. The good and the bad. 

Sometimes I like to think about if I would've been friends with my college friends back in high school if we had known each other back then. And then I remember - I'm a very different person. Unprofessional, dramatic, STUPID. I cared way so much about what people thought of me that I didn't take the time to talk to people outside of my comfort zone. I had such a pitiful view of myself that I lowered myself to a point that I can easily say I'm ashamed of now.

Okay, so maybe that's a little deep. But after being in college for a year and a half, I've seen many of the people I knew in high school drift farther apart, and it seems that I've found new friends to become close to in their places. It just proves that when one person walks out of your life, even without really knowing, someone steps in. 

This time last year, I was upset when I didn't hang out with x person, or y person, for some reason or another. And those people will always be around, just maybe not as prominent. Or not at all. But in the end, it will be okay.

One of those new friends made some status on Facebook tonight (he's graduating high school. I feel so freaking old) about growing up and taking another step in life. But isn't every day a step in your life? A day to be thankful for waking up in the morning? (Or afternoon... whatever floats your boat, I guess.) Shouldn't we take every day as an opportunity to grow up? 

So have I changed? Yes, of course. In a bad way? I don't think so. And it doesn't matter anyways, because I'm happy with where I am and there are people that accept me. And that's okay with me.

I realize this is really deep. I apologize if it wasn't exactly what you were looking for. It's 12:24 AM. I guess I get kinda deep after midnight.

Thank you to every one who's spent time reading this. I really appreciate the fact that people give a crap about what I have to say. :)